Welcome back to the last week of January – or, as diehard NFL fans like to refer to it: “the worst weekend in the history of mankind.” Yep, that’s right, it’s the weekend of the Pro Bowl; a game so pointless and so boring for everyone involved (i.e. players, coaches, fans, announcers, cameramen, the NFL-regulated “travelling escort” service, etc.), that they decided to move it from the week after the Super Bowl, to the weekend before it – almost as if were some sort of last-ditch effort to trick Sunday couch-surfers into thinking – albeit for a split-second – that they stumbled onto a real football game. Alas, it’s utterly impossible to take that game seriously; I'm not sure why it is though, I just can’t seem to put my finger on…
Well, seeing as how the nation’s still completely engrossed in the real-life version of Catfish (otherwise known as “Kekuagate”), it’s been a pretty slow week on the 'Tube. Maybe there’s something interesting going on overseas; let’s take a look-see:
Wow, tough crowd, huh? Maybe next time he shouldn’t open his act with the whole “fake assassination attempt” thing. Know your audience, dude! That sorta avant-garde stuff might fly in France, but never in a country like Bulgaria – they have numbers in their alphabet, for crying out loud!
Okay, so Bulgaria was sort of a drag… Let’s see if Scotland has anything interesting going on:
Well, it might not necessarily be “interesting,” but that sure was cute. No wonder we never hear much from Scotland; they’re too busy spending all of their time golfing and/or putting large sweaters on ponies. Of course.
Alright, I don’t know about you, but I think that’s enough “culture” for this week (besides, my contract requires that 60% of the videos I include be domestic). The outside world’s a cool place and all, but I’m happy just right where I am. Don’t concur with me? Well then maybe this next video will change your mind:
AMERICA. ‘nuff said.
Speaking of geographies and whatnot, it’s times like this when I’m thankful that I live in a warm place. Sure, I’ll be complaining about how freaking hot it is outside come late-spring/early-summer, but for right now, I’ll take a late-January day with a high of seventy-nine. Sure, it may have been a little warm for a winter day, but at least I don’t have to deal with this sorta stuff:
See? Global warming’s not sounding too bad right now, huh? I mean, we’ll still have those indoor ski resorts, so there’s really no other reason we’d need real snow any more, right? Just don’t tell this cat about it:
Alright guys, that’s going to do it for this week’s installment. We’ve got another, even bigger, week of Super-Bowl-anticipation ahead of us, so rest up while you can! See you guys next week!
-Ronaiah Tuiasosopo’s vocal instructor. Darn right I’m good at what I do; heck, I’m the only reason Cher made it out of those drag show circuits!
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