Weekly with Carly: Becoming Engaged

By: Carly Clegg
By: Carly Clegg

College Station, TX Becoming engaged: God’s timing and becoming a part of HIS family

Happy Friday everyone!!

Today is an especially special post because I have the pleasure in announcing two wonderful friends’ engagement! Camille and Raleigh!!!

I just love, love.

Aren’t engagements fun? The anticipation is RELENTLESS from the moment the groom to be purchases THE ring to planning the proposal with all your family and friends to the minute by minute moment of the time she says ‘I do’ (hopefully-in most cases she’ll say yes-hey now, it’s not always guaranteed!) to the after party/celebratory dinner or time for the two of you to reflect on what in tarnations just happened!

I have been wanting to talk to y’all about getting engaged since November! And before I begin I’d like to give you a preface of me and Trent’s relationship: We met in middle school (at the wee age of 12), became friends and went to the same high school (after dodging a huge move that my family was supposed to make-thankfully we didn’t.) We weren’t “friends” per say throughout these few short years because-guys, I’m so awkward. Point blank. With guys that is. Still am.
During the summer of 2007, (after our freshman year of high school) my mom had a severe life threatening surgery (which is a completely other story) that lead to Trent reaching out to me…a few more awkward moments later (he was ‘practically’ my first kiss oookaay…) you can say the rest is history...up until college where he goes to Texas Tech and I got to Texas A&M (whoop), we battle the challenges of a long distance relationship, I spend a semester in Orlando, FL he spends a summer in Sevilla, Spain and vuala! here we are in our senior here of college, seven years into our relationship and he asks me to marry him 15 minutes after I get my Aggie ring on November 15th (hence why I’ve been waiting since November)!! The best day, the funnest weekend of my life. And guess what, I got a future hubby out of it all!

And no, I didn’t see it coming.
No matter how long Trent and I have
been together, we have always prayed that the Lord would present the right time for us to start planning our lives to become one. And guys-this is SO important for all you ladies out there yearning to get your ring by spring and start planning your wedding, and gents-honor your woman and if you want to spend the rest of your life with her, communicate and let her know, but don’t have her waiting/questioning your thoughts on y’alls future too long, so she doesn’t start looking for someone else to get more serious with because you seriously love where you are in your relationship right now. Because time gets away from us. Unfortunately, we grow up. And heck-you should want a wife, ladies-you should want a husband! Because as far as I can tell, although marriage isn’t as easy as some of us might think- it’s also the best adventure you’ll ever take-doing life with your best friend.

Now, I could list 18 different ways on ‘How to get Your Man to Propose” or I can simply talk about how important it is to be content on where you are in your relationship. (If you really do want 18 different ways to speed up the process-literally I think Barnes & Noble sells a book called ‘The Get-Your-Man-to-Marry-You Plan: Buying the Cow in the Age of Free Milk?’...ok what?-Let me know how that works out for you.)

Ok ladies-and gents, let’s get real- you can’t MAKE anyone do anything-and if you can (you have superpowers) then- do you really want someone to have marry you-because HEY they should want to or be honored to or excited to not have to.

You have to eat your veggies, not marry your boyfriend/girlfriend because it’s been a while since you have started dating. Doesn’t sound too sexy.

There are so many situations out there, so many different age groups, so many backgrounds, so many different types of relationships-which makes this post difficult because getting engaged comes at different times of people’s lives.
Whether it’s within a month of dating, two years, seven, or even 45 years of dating-everyone has a different time line, and it’s not up to me to say when you should and shouldn’t start a new chapter with your significant other. However, I do want to encourage you that when the timing is right-whenever that is-you will feel it, and it’ll feel good.

When he DOES pop the question-it’s time to start considering how the two of you are going to segway your lives into a whole new world. (where’s Aladdin when you need him?) So I’d like to briefly introduce you future newlyweds out there to take a look at Proverbs 31. It’s a big one. It’s the real deal. I’m still trying to figure out what it all means-I hope this helps you figure it out too.

What does it mean to be a Proverbs 31 women?

This VIDEO went viral on Youtube and across social media a couple years ago. It’s titled: Proverbs 31 Movement and it’s written by a Baylor male student with a focus directed to women stating “I’d rather have a Proverbs 31 woman than a Victoria’s Secret model.” Wow-what a man. Some of you might think this is ridiculous- but he is wise and honest.

And he’s on the right track.

Many of us women are focused on our appearance-what magazines and movies say is beautiful-and when we listen to what tabloids have to say about what’s hot and what’s not- suddenly we become trapped in a very small cage of limits to beauty.

Sure-I would trade my legs for Gisele Bündchen’s any day-along with her complexion-her smile-her hair. But what about thinking positively about my-self-my life?

That is what I want to encourage you ladies and gentlemen out there-wherever you are reading this-to be content with who God intended you to be and to think outside the category of Jennifer Anniston and Angelina Jolie… (Did that just get awkward?)

So…What in fact does a Single Proverbs 31 woman look like?

She is trustworthy all the time. People are watching you at all times; they’re watching your actions, listening to you, and evaluating your responses. “The woman of noble character does not just live in the present but carefully considers her interactions from the perspective of an entire lifetime – thereby earning the trust of her husband (should God provide), as well as her brothers in Christ.”

She takes care of her home and works hard. A noble woman sacrifices some of her own comforts to do what’s best for those around her. My momma is the best example of this. She is the most selfless woman I know-she puts herself last and constantly lives with a servant heart. She is noble indeed. A single Proverbs 31 woman isn’t afraid of hard work but finds pleasure in glorifying God through her job. She always maintains a good attitude, learning to be content in all circumstances whatever her job may be, however long the hours or horrendous the boss. I want to urge you today ladies-to use your time wisely-you are important!

She’s resourceful and financially responsible. Ouch-I might need to work on this one. The single Proverbs 31 woman is business savvy: she knows how to budget, save, and make good financial investments. She doesn’t jump into buying a new car with her life savings but uses discernment before buying it. Being resourceful isn’t easy-especially with a big red 75% clearance sign you pass every day to work. Budget. Save. Willpower girls!

She helps those in need. She’s generous, concerned for the poor and loving to those less fortunate. Smile. Spread the love!

She takes care of herself too. Always. Who says mani/pedis are out of the picture? Not me!

She chooses a quality man. The type of man that will cherish her, compliment her, and let her know how valuable she is to him.

She lives with joy and confidence. I pray daily for this one. In the constancies of life, I am in dire need of an emotional face-lift.

She speaks with wisdom and kindness. Again-deep breath people. As a Proverbs 31 woman-take a step back, and be sympathetic instead of abrasive. Gossip is an everyday conversation piece both men and women dwell on. For some, gossip is the only way one has friends. Some even make their year salary on gossip through tabloids, talk shows, and trash TV. Others thrive on it based on jealousy and envy. Gossip is everywhere. And it’s up to us to say “hey um, anyone see that Youtube video?” haha-Anything to get the conversation away from negativity. It’s hard. We’re all guilty-but wouldn’t it be a great goal to set? A goal that helps the reputation of others-even if they’re undeserving?

She looks to God, not her looks or personality to fulfill her. All your hopes and worth can’t be put in your beauty or charming ways: charm can hide a mean personality and beauty is meaningless, unless it’s also accompanied by godliness.

This post only briefly touches the many directions a relationship can go when the two of you decide to start this exciting new chapter in your life. I’m excited for you, to look at your current relationship on a different perspective, being patient in His timing, and cherishing the season you’re in before you quickly move on to the next one. If you’re confused, don’t understand, have a hard time being content with your woman or man-feel free to leave me a comment-let’s talk it out!

Be kind to one another.

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