Welcome back to yet another week of the CW8’s premiere Viral Video blog. My friends, today is a somber day for America. Our heartland has been attacked by yet another one of life’s greatest forces of evils: alcoholic suppositories. Yep, that’s right; a fraternity in Tennessee was recently discovered to have been “butt-chugging” boxed wine at one of their parties (And yes, that is the technical term for it. Thanks, esteemed reporters at the Huffington Post!). Sure, this may seem like a really ridiculous act (let alone probably the worst way for someone to kick the bucket), but something needs to be done about this travesty. We can’t let this perfectly-good – well, at least as “perfectly-good” as Franzia can get – go to waste any longer! But, then again, this isn’t the first time a fraternity has taken things “a little too far”:

Speaking of dumb stuff that people do on that show Jackass, here’s a video of Ryan Dunn doing something unnecessarily dumb:

Wow, I can’t help but cringe watching that. At least there isn’t any debate whether or not that dude was “Jackass Material.” Either way, RIP Ryan Dunn – doing stupid stuff in shopping carts just won’t ever be the same without you. Cue the Foo Fighters:

Hey! Want another reason to get riled up about the state of the US of A? You do? How convenient! Here you go:

Though these dudes do raise some intriguing arguments, we mustn’t get too worked up about this – I mean, they are from Norway after all (also known as “The Land of Fjords: No, we have no idea what those things are either, so don’t ask us”). I mean seriously, any country that uses the A&E logo in their alphabet really can’t be trusted. I think I can speak for all of us when I say “Hey Norway, you can keep your herring and your lutefisk; I’ll stick with my Baconator and Son of Baconator.” God bless America.

You know what? I’m in a giving mood today. So, just for you guys, I’m going to throw in an extra video today. Think of it as me “paying it forward” to all you readers; I’ll be your Haley Joel Osment, and you’ll be my scabby Kevin Spacey:

Ok, so maybe it was only a video from the Emmys, and maybe it was the first video I clicked on after searching “Emmys” in YouTube, but some of us might not have watched it, alright? There’s no way I could’ve used this video any other week either – I’m trying to stay up to snuff, people; I run a tight ship here! Plus, I’ve really been waiting for the perfect opportunity to finally get some Ashton “Do I look like I don’t care enough yet?” Kutcher face-time in this blog.

Alright, time to finish things some cute animals:

That’s going to do it for this week, everyone. Hopefully this whole “Refpocalypse” thing in the NFL can be put to rest for good, and we can finally have a game where we don’t feel the need to put an asterisk next to the outcome. Let’s just hope the old refs aren’t rusty and/or out of shape (except for you, Ed Hochuli. I fear for my life way too much to ever say anything to offend you.). But hey, I guess just about anything’s better than letting a guy Who got fired from the Lingerie League(!) referee the most popular professional sport in the United States.

-John Obenauf
Avid football fan and habitual Madden® player, therefore overly qualified to be hired as a replacement ref. But it's ok, I'm not bitter, I'm sure Roger Goodell definitely knows what he's doing...