Alright, who else is tired this whole “politics” thing? I don’t know about you, but it’s just so exhausting to keep up with all the newest appearances and policy changes these days. Heck, it even used to be easy to be uninformed – but not anymore! Back in the old days, people would just pick whichever candidate was more attractive than the other, regardless of political stance (*Note: this is actually a registered fact. I even asked my creepy old-neighbor Douglas about it the other day when we were hanging out in his basement – why doesn’t he have more lighting down there?). Nowadays, with sources such as CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News, it’s practically impossible to pick who you want to tell you who to pick! Oh well, at least I don’t have the pressure of my vote actually “counting” in Texas – thanks for allowing me to evade even more responsibility, Electoral College! Screw politics, let's watch some YouTube videos!
Here’s a video of someone who obviously needs better friends:
Geez, I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that her friends laughed at her near-decapitation, or that the dude with the camera didn’t tell her about that other train. Either way, I just don’t want to see how those guys treat people that they actually don’t like.
Wait, did somebody say “North Dakota?” …no? Oh, ok... I guess that should come as no surprise – it’s really never a good sign when you’re the least popular of the Dakotas (at least South Dakota has that mountain with the faces of those old dudes). In fact, I’m pretty sure more Americans have heard of Dakota Fanning than they’ve heard of both of the Dakota’s combined. So, for those of you who don’t know the first thing about North Dakota (and let’s face it, that’s all of us), here’s just about all you need to know:
On a scale from one-to-Rob-Schneider, how hilariously-bad has your local news broadcast been lately ? If you answered anything lower than According to Jim, then you might not be getting quite enough of your weekly dosage. Never fear, here’s one of the local FOX stations to the rescue: (**Note: obviously, this scale does not apply to any of the CW and/or CBS news broadcasts – all of which are executed flawlessly on a nightly basis)
For those of you keeping score at home: yes, that was my second FOX bash in just as many weeks. For the rest of you not keeping score of my blog on a weekly basis: I SEE HOW IT IS.
This next video has bounced around the internet more in the past couple weeks more than that one video of Erin Andrews did a couple years back – yea, you know which one I’m talking about (if you don’t: never fear, Cracked.com’s crack-team of journalists are on the case!). So, without further ado, here’s a video of a bus driver who’s had just one-too-many bad days:
As a wise man once told me: “never [mess] with a bus driver,” and I honestly can’t think of any better reason not to than that video. I guess this should teach me to be patient with my own bus drivers on campus – even when they’re fifteen minutes behind schedule – but, then again, I guess our lives are kinda in their hands; I mean, heck, you’ve seen Speed, right?
Aaaaaannnnnnnd finally, kittens:
Alright everyone, that’s going to do it for this week’s installment. Make sure to watch plenty of football this weekend!
-A-Rod’s [now former] Personal Ego-Masseuse
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