Welcome back to the newest installment of your favorite marginally-entertaining YouTube blog! How about that presidential debate the other day? Pretty intense stuff, huh? You know, with all those rules being tossed around (and then promptly ignored by the candidates – see: “time limit”) I had absolutely no clue which dude ended up "winning" when it was all said and done—was it Romney, with his eager attitude and inability to stop blinking after each word he says? Or was it Obama, who seemed to have just woken up from a long nap right before he was supposed to go out on stage (you know, one of those naps that goes way too long, so you’re really groggy when you finally wake up). Or, maybe most importantly, was it the viewer, who finally got to watch about an hour and a half of television without one freaking commercial interruption? Honestly, if you ask me, I’d say that there is no winner: we’re just all kids in a school lunch line, choosing between a rock-hard “hamburger” or a mushy baked potato – either way, you’re gonna get diarrhea. Even though I have no idea who “won,” at least I could figure out the clear loser: Jim Lehrer. Geez, watching that dude moderate the debate was like watching a substitute teacher named Holden Richards control a class after he’s told them his name. Oh well, at least we can all agree on one thing: thank goodness we don’t have to worry about Rick Perry anymore:
Speaking of making lasting impressions on TV, just imagine seeing this next clip happen live:
Wow, now that was some must-see TV! Now, I don’t mean to undermine the anchor in question, but doesn’t it seem like this is kind of a misuse of important airtime? Don’t get me wrong, I know she’s supporting a positive message about self-image and everything, but the whole thing seems a little too defensive. The viewer email really wasn’t that malicious either; I feel like they could have had good intentions with it, only they just really don’t know how to address the issue politely. True, the news anchor wasn’t the one who originally brought this situation to the public (that title would belong to her husband, who is also a news personality), and it’s really no mystery that local news stations need to do practically whatever they can to get a leg up on ratings, but it still just sort of seems like an attention grab—they needed to get that last punch in before the bell, so to speak. Regardless, people are talking about it – which is all the station really wants anyways. Moving on!
I don’t know about you, but one of my all-time favorite aspects of watching football on TV is when they do they do the starting lineup introductions at the beginning of every game (here’s an example of Jared Allen and co. getting a little creative). That being said, I was watching a rerun of the Senior Bowl the other day and was pleasantly surprised:
Hey! Wanna see an animal that’s way cuter than your mangy pet? Here ya go:
D’awwwww. Doesn’t that just make you kinda resent your parents for getting you that puppy that one time, when they could’ve gotten you a hedgehog instead? Yea, real thoughtful, Mom and Dad – I hope you guys have fun in the state-run retirement home I’m planning on dumping you in! Maybe if you loved me a little more by getting me a hedgehog instead of stupid Rufus we wouldn’t be in this predicament, now would we?
Alrighty guys, that’s going to do it for this week’s installment. As always, thanks for reading. Feel free to pass it on to your friends/family/enemies/local gas station clerk. Or not; as Ben Roethlisberger frequently says: “I don’t wanna pressure you into anything you don’t wanna do” (ok, so maybe he might be a little tongue-in-cheek when he says that, but trust me, I’m 100% genuine when I say it). I hope you all have a fantastic weekend! See you again next Friday!
-Author of the #1 Kevin James fan-fiction novel “Insecure Fat Guy Eventually Wins Over That Way-Out-of-His-League Hot Chick”