XOXO, Sorority Girl

Work Week=Mean Girls

When the phrase "work week" is heard on sorority row, I want to curl up in a tiny ball and cry. Besides recruitment, work week is the hardest task of a sweet, little, sorority girl’s life.

What is it? Well, besides a form of moral torture, it is seven days of looking through nearly a thousand different potential new members (or PNMs), practicing your skit, screaming songs at the top of your lungs, practicing how to speak to the scared freshman, all while having a smile glued to your face.

We judge a girl on where they fit on our rank in about three minutes, if that. Usually its about a minute and a half, unless we are fighting about her for one reason or another. (DWI charge, she slept with my ex, blah, blah)

How do we rank them? Reputation, grades, high school involvement, their recommendation letter.. the list goes on and on. This process still amazes me, because we literally Facebook stalk each girl to see if we have any mutual friends, call people from their hometowns, anything we can do to find out more about their lives. We will contact a mutual friend that we met one time, seven years ago just to see if they’re cool. It doesn't matter if we haven’t talked to this “mutual friend” in years, we need to know them.

We know no means of personal boundaries. None. We are pro stalkers by the time we graduate college and become alumni of our beloved sisterhood. Before a girl walks through the door, we know all of her profile pictures, whether or not she is in a relationship, her extra curricular activities, even what she did last night.

Word to the wise: we see all the underage drinking pictures. If we have heard bad things about you and your pictures are scandalous, you’re cut. Sorry, got to keep up our reputation ladies, no hard feelings... right?

However objective we try to be, if we don't like her outfit or if her makeup is too heavy, sorry... As much as I hate to admit it the fact is, looks do matter for some part of it.

So, the girl is categorized as a top girl, middle girl, or bottom girl. We try not to have middle girls, because that means we have to focus on them and not our top girls, plus then they could easily slip in. These girls are known as “ninjas.”

Of course none of the potential new members truly know we put them in categories. They hear the urban legends of rush, but once they are on the other side of the door it is a whole different ball game. We want every single girl coming into our house want to be one of us, even if we don't want her. It’s an intense game of trickery.

Coming from a top house on campus, I know for a fact how this cut throat process works. I'm not going to lie, we speak horribly about some of the girls coming through and make fun of their pictures they send to us. Model pics... forget it, you’re cut. Oh, you wear a bump it? Gone. The way they pose, the clothes they wear, their features... the rude comments are endless during work week and rush week. It is shocking to hear some of your "sisters" say horrible things about strangers, yet in a twisted way it is extremely amusing.

After hearing some of the things my so called "sisters" have said, I wonder what they have said about me... They say I was a top girl, but I will never truly know what was said behind closed doors when I went through recruitment a few short years ago.

I'm not going to say that all the girls are ruthless, but most are. Sometimes, work week makes me wish I had join a covenant instead of a sorority. To make the week even better, no one is "allowed" to go out to bars or any other drinking establishment during work week or rush week. Imagine talking bad and judging people all day for seven days straight and not being allowed to drink. It is a mild twisted form of torture.

I took a bite of Satan's apple years ago when I accepted my bid card. Its some type of Greek institutional torture. So what do I do with Satan's apple? Make an apple martini of course! Its a wild ride in each house during work week. Watch out. The row is drunk on achieving success, trying to be the best.

See you on the row.

Sorority Girl

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