Ex-Boyfriends Beware

Guys, I don’t care if you are an athlete, frat daddy or you are that guy wearing a face covering full length pastel pink bodysuit running across campus asking for high fives. If you date one of my sorority sisters, you are dating the whole sorority. Period.

Girls tell each other everything and when you live with 40 other girls in the same house, we know your relationship better than you do. We know what kind of kisser you are, if you're good in bed, that you farted in bed and that you own whitey tighties.

We are the girls who add you on Facebook because we are stalking your ex-girlfriend and we don’t trust your recent, suspicious activity on her wall. It’s easy to say we are watching your every single move... I'm talking physically and virtually. One thing you don’t want to do is upset your girlfriend. If you upset your girlfriend, you upset the srat, when you upset the srat bad things happen. Think the movie John Tucker Must Die and multiply it by 10.

I know one sorority house that was extremely mad at one of their sister’s ex boyfriends. That guy’s truck and his house, plants and mailbox, were toilet papered, egged and then saran wrapped on top to make sure everything stained. Yep, they went high school on him. The ex boyfriend soon apologized for being a bad person... after he realized he couldn’t leave his house.

So, what have we learned, gentlemen? If you hurt a sister, you hurt her chapter... then you are the one who gets burned.

See you on the row.

xoxo,
Sorority Girl