Shelby's Tips: Having 'The Number' Talk

By: Date with 8 Email
By: Date with 8 Email

'The number' talk, that dreaded conversation that often comes up when you're beginning to get to know the person you're dating better. Curiosity gets the best of us and we all we want to know is how many?! It can reveal a lot of information about someone.

Tip: Get to know the person you're dating well enough so that no matter what y'all each answer - you each feel confident in the character of one another and past sexual encounters don't need to get in the way of that!

Okay, now that we've established that, here's how to make it through the conversation successfully:

First, when the conversation comes up it is best if you don't

1. Get defensive, because you were thinking the same question... am I right?

2. Try to provide a number that is close to theirs, just be honest y'all.

3. Be too proud of your double-digit number. Often your high number will spark a little insecurity, which is never good.

Now for some dos

1. Anticipate this question and be prepared with how you would like to go about answering it.

2. Honesty at the start of a relationship is the best but be slightly gentle when sharing "higher" numbers right off the bat (depending on the person) it could cause substantial tension, jealousy, and insecurity.

Keep in mind: There is usually a double standard for women. Society puts out (pun intended) that it is more acceptable for men to have higher numbers than women. This is ridiculous, but its reality, so ladies be aware of this unfair "expectation" when you approach the conversation!

At the end of the day, everyone's sexual histories are in the past and dating someone new is a step towards the future! Don't worry too much with history, just get excited for the future!

Leave me any questions and comments you may have guys!

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